Your girl gets around. Which is not something most people would ever think of me. Partially because you should never judge or shame a girl for her proclivities, no matter how her actions are perceived by you, and also because I don’t really get around too much. But this time, we’re going to talk about how Nicole, my cousin Rachel, and I went to three Minneapolis breweries to celebrate our dear friend Kayla’s Golden Birthday. Now, as you know, I am not very good at writing in a timely fashion, so let me assure you. Kayla’s birthday was in September. She turned 28 on September 28th. And yes, it is December. And yes. I am just writing about this now. But bear with me. Like I said, I get around and when you get around, you’re not also known for your timeliness.

But anyways, we didn’t just go to one brewery in Minneapolis but rather, three.

The first place we went to was actually a cider-y, which means, they just did ciders. And, as we all know about your dear friend Natalie, ciders give me heartburn. But anyways, we went to Sociable Cider Werks and Nicole got a Rusty Chain, I got a Mead for Speed, and rachel got a Free Wheeler. Rachel’s Free Wheeler was super champaign-y, not to be confused the Champaign of Beers, which is actually just Miller High Life. While there, Nicole also tried their candy apple cider and the only note I have on that was that it was “alarming.”

The problem I had with Sociable was mainly that it was really small but also super busy. And I know that part of the problem was that Kayla was sporting an entourage of approximately thirty people all dressed in their finest 90s attire (did I mention that it was a 90s themed party? I was dressed super grunge but it was too cold for my attire because Minneapolis in September is like Milwaukee in October which is like Florida on a record-breaking cold day). But it wasn’t just her party that was taking up space, but it was just busy. And it was a Saturday afternoon, so that happens. But goddamn was it busy.

So we moved on to Able Brewing, which, spoiler alert, was my favorite of the three breweries that we visited. The place had space and it was lowkey and everyone was very chill. I had a Cosmic Fruit and Nicole had a Blk Wlf. Rachel had water. She was DD-ing us because she’s a doll and I appreciate everything about my cousin and I am so lucky that she was willing to let Nicole and I stay with her and also to go out with us although she didn’t know Nicole that well and she didn’t know Kayla at all but she was still super game to dress up in 90’s apparel and hit up some bitchin’ breweries with us.

It should also be mentioned that although Able was my favorite brewery, I can never go back there. I broke a glass within seconds of being there with a full fucking beer in it and it was terribly embarrassing. I never break glasses, that’s not my bag. But yet, there I was, craft beer on my booties.

But besides that, I loved that place and wish that I had more beer there. It was a small but focused tap list and the crowd was lowkey and the music was present but low. We hung out at a table next to two couples with a hipster little baby child that kept wandering off. I loved it. Everything about it. It was my kind of brewery. I aspire to visit again if I ever get back up to the Cities sometime soon. I mean, it shouldn’t be hard because that’s where Rachel and her husband Eric and live and they are delightful people and I love them, but I also always forget how much of a bitch that drive is. Six hours is all well and good until you try to stop at a Starbucks at quarter to 8 at night in bumfuck nowhere Wisconsin and they tell you they will not serve you because they are closed but the app definitely says they don’t close until 8pm and they were just being lazy and now you have to continue to drive another four hours back to Milwaukee sleepy and sad.

But I digress.

The last brewery we went to was Indeed Brewing, which was right down the street from Able. We walked there! It was cold! I was wearing a skirt and a crop top and fishnets! Again, it was fucking cold. But whatever. At Indeed I got a Day Tripper, which was really good, I think and Nicole got a Lucy. If memory serves correct, all of their beers were Beatles themed beer names. Honestly, this might be why I shortly thereafter had a dream that my friends and I opened a brewery where we had all Phish-themed beers.

And, about Phish-themed beers, unrelated to our time in Minneapolis, but MobCraft Brewing will be brewing an experimental small batch of one of my Phish-themed beers that I dreamt about. Scent of a Mule Ginger IPA coming to the MobCraft taproom soon (probably in January? Maybe December?) I’ll keep y’all posted on that front later.

But back to Minneapolis in September. After Nicole and I finished off our beers, we decided to hit up a liquor store and get drunk in Rachel’s basement watching Match Game. It was like a warmer, more wholesome fun than rolling around the mean streets of Minneapolis looking to score some smack and ass. I kid. I roll around the mean, cold streets of Milwaukee without concern.

Minneapolis actually had a super cool craft beer scene that I definitely only got a small sampling of while up there. But I want to go back and maybe soon (but maybe not soon). Also, the next couple of posts are still going to be far from Wisconsin and you will find me somewhere more serial killer-y. What? you say. What could be more serial killer-y than Wisconsin? And to that, I must say, somewhere a bit more PNW-y. But until then, farewell.