The idea of spring in Wisconsin is rather amusing. It’s cute to think that just because the calendar says that it’s April means that you will see beautiful flowers budding from the ground and trees starting to sprout leaves. It’s a fantasy. The reality is that even if it is April 7th, you very well might be forced to squeeze into a tiny brewery on the lower floor in the Third Ward with hundreds of people to celebrate a one year anniversary. And that’s what we did, guys. We paid a fine visit to Broken Bat Brewery in Milwaukee’s Third Ward to celebrate one year of beer with them.

As track records for one year anniversary parties at breweries, we are 0-2 on the seasonably appropriate weather front. If you recall correctly, when we went to Third Space‘s one year anniversary party at the end of September, it was painfully hot. Like 90+ degrees hot that day. The last weekend in September. In Wisconsin. Now, fast forward to April 7th where my friends and I found ourselves walking many, many blocks on a chilly, windy day to visit this brewery. There was no sun, though, thankfully there was also no snow (that would come a week later). But it was still unpleasant. It feels unfair to be promised all the beautiful things that spring has to offer, beer on a patio, sunshine, joy, just to be reminded that joy does not exist in Wisconsin. At least not in spring. Spring is not a re-birth here, it’s a re-hash. It just repeats everything winter did, but it with a meaner, more resentful spin. But we still went for the beer.

Broken Bat is a micro that I am not familiar with at all, but Molly, who joined us on this expedition this fine day, knows the owners. At least she knew the brew master’s in-laws, which paid off in our favor tenfold because we got to pet a very tiny puppy named Roxy that belonged to the people that Molly knew. Bless her. But that’s not why we are here today, to talk about all the dogs we met (Monica pet a dog that has over 75k followers on Instagram and was starstruck all afternoon), we are here to talk about beer.

Unfortunately, the place was crowded and it was hard to get to the bar to get a beer, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t still try to drink like the best of them. There was a large group of us on this expedition (Karen, Jake, Tim, Monica, Molly, Ashley, and myself) which allowed for many beers to be split among the crowd. I will also say that it is the first time I have ever been in a tap room where there was a man standing at the door constantly counting heads because they were close to their fire code cap. Not something you typically encounter at a micro on a cold spring day in Wisconsin.

 

In terms of the beer, everything was baseball themed, which delighted Jake, an avid baseball enthusiast. It also made for a more educational day for myself, because I didn’t quite understand almost any of the references that the beers were alluding to. So buckle up guys, because, in addition to getting a beer rundown, you’re also going to get your asses educated in the world of baseball.

Golden Sombrero. In baseball, that means the same player struck out FOUR times in a single game. In beer (as drank by Jake and Karen) is a pilsner that seems appropriate for a soft tailgate. Easy to drink, friendly. Not too offensive.

Flashin’ Leather. Allegedly, this means a famous play that you are going to see replayed over and over again for the rest of your life to remind you that baseball has some exciting moment, although they typically only come around every couple of seasons. For beer (as drank by Jake and Ashley), it was a golden ale that they both enjoyed!

Straight Chedd. Apparently, this means pitchers throw very fast like, all the time. Or sometimes. I’m not sure. I’m not a baseball person, back off okay. But the beer (drank by Jake and Tim and not me because the universe is cruel) it is an apricot pale ale. I don’t even know how they felt about it because when I went to get one, the keg was empty so the guy went to go change the keg, and then came back and it still would not pour, so I had to order something else. I shrugged it off and was like “no biggie, my dude, fuck me up with that Ugly Finder” but then like a couple minutes later, Tim went to get one and it TURNS OUT this guy working at a brewery just straight up doesn’t know how to change a keg. I mean, I don’t either. But I’m a social worker, not a beertender. And I’m not here to narc on someone for being bad at their job (as I am typing this from my desk at work with 20 unread emails), but I am quite distressed that I did not get that beer at that moment. However, it is an incentive to return.

Climb the Wall. I’m sure this has something to do with catching a ball that is like borderline almost a homerun but a guy defies the laws of physics and Spider-Man’s his way up a wall to make sure that this is not a home run. In terms of beer (consumed by Tim and Molly), it’s a farmhouse ale with notes of orange. I don’t have much else to say about it because there was a lot of beer being consumed and I am a not a Good Blogger™.

Corré Corré. It means “run” in Spanish. Take what you want from that. But Karen and Molly both had this beer, which Karen loved. It’s a Mexican Lager, though, so I mean, Landshark still exists in the world, but if you’re going the craft route. I guess this is a good one too.

Golden Summer Ale. Maybe this one doesn’t actually exist, but I wrote it down that Karen drank it but I can’t find it on the website. Let’s assume that it’s real and I just wrote the name down wrong. Otherwise, I hallucinated an entire beer and that is problematic.

Ugly Finder. I don’t know the baseball history about this beer. I just know that Ashley and I drank it. Ashley by choice, me by default. I think it was fine, but I was still bitter about the Chedd incident.

Overall, I think we had a good trip. Jake really liked the brewery because of his affinity for baseball and beer and the delightfully quaint way this brewery decided to bring his two joys together. I think that maybe we need to go back to get a better opinion of the vibe and environment, though. We were there for two hours and the whole time we stood around, with our backs against the wall while people tried to get back and forth to the bathroom. I would make the bold assumption that we would definitely go back, and probably someday soon. Beer drinking season is officially upon us now that the last snow has fallen and the sun stays out until 8pm. ‘Twas a good day.