CurdFest

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Let’s begin with an exercise. Close your eyes (metaphorically, if you literally close your eyes you will not be able to continue reading this paragraph which is imperative to this exercise). Clear your mind. Take a deep breath. Now, think. What is the most Wisconsin scene you can conjure to your mind? Does it involve a foot of snow being whipped around by bitter winter winds? Or a mob full of angry, overweight men wearing wedges of foam cheese on their heads shouting misogynistic vitriol about a quarterback’s love interest? People gathered around drinking beer and eating cheese curds while listening to a live polka band and playing a game of bags? Maybe just a field full of cows and cranberries as far as the eye can see?  Alright, these are all fair scenes. And they all exist. But, what about this image. A warm, Saturday afternoon in the middle of June blocks from the shores of Lake Michigan, young, well dressed white people enjoying the weather and a sense of security afforded to them thanks to gentrification and “urban renewal.” Not exactly a typical image of Wisconsin. But honestly, this scene existed just alongside another one I laid out for you. And no, this wasn’t a party in the middle of a cranberry bog.

On this edition of Daze-of-Beer-Not-Going-As-Planned, we hit up the inaugural Curd Fest in Walker’s Point.

Upon entering the closed block that was reserved for the joys of Curd Fest, I was immediately overwhelmed with the sense of belonging. For the obvious reasons of course, I too am a white millennial also taking advantage of the gentrification and “cleanup” efforts put into Walker’s Point, a once grimy, industrial neighborhood south of downtown that is now enjoying a renewed interest in converting those old factories into breweries and urban lofts. Of course, during the walk to Curd Fest, I went on a rant about how Milwaukee’s “urban renewal” efforts are pricing out lower income families that have lived in those neighborhoods for decades and further showing the true nature of the people of Milwaukee. They are so dedicated to making themselves look good (which isn’t easy with Sheriff David Clarke and Governor Scott Walker kicking around) that they are furthering the city’s tradition of segregation. But, I digress.

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The true sense of belonging, though, came from the feeling that while I have my issues with Wisconsin, with living here, this is aplace that truly shaped me. Curd Fest was one of the most Wisconsin things I could think of doing with my Saturday, and the thought of living somewhere else that does not place such a strong emphasis on drinking beer and eating cheese with reckless abandon on the first nice weekend of the summer broke my heart a little. Curd Fest was the embodiment of my essence. Milwaukee and I are one. We understand each other. We are both filled with beer and cheese and resentment and undeserved pride. Curd Fest was a prime example of that.

Instead of venturing out of my beer comfort zone, I started with my favorite beer at the moment, a Third Space Happy Place IPA. I wish I could tell you what this beer tastes like, but I can’t. Honestly, I think I am going to start referring to is as the beer of 2017. If I’m anywhere with Happy Place on tap, you know that’s what I’m going to order. Blessedly, I’m seeing it more and more places. Ashley also got a Happy Place at first, and Tim, I believe, got Lakefront’s El Wisco, which is their new Mexican-style beer. While I have not myself ever ordered the El Wisco, Ashley ordered it at Leff’s before a Brewer game and let me try it. My expert opinion? I’d rather have a Landshark. Also, there is something terrible inauthentic about thirtysomething year old hipster brewmasters in Milwaukee deciding that they want to brew a Mexican inspired beer. It would not kill you to just drink a Corona or Tecate, and while the El Wisco is a little more flavorful than those beers, I also think half the experience of drinking a light Mexican beer is just the absurdity of it. Which is why I love Landshark. (And yes, I know that Landshark is also an American beer masquerading as a Mexican lager but you know what? It’s funny. I drink it ironically. You shut up.)

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While enjoying our drinks, we sat on the curb just watching people wander around. As I said, it was a beautiful day. Our second round was me drinking another Happy Place, Tim got some specialty drink or something?, and Ashley got an Old Fashioned. Like I said, Wisconsin. Aggressively Wisconsin. We bought some cheese curds and snacked on them on the curb. Around this time, we noticed that a lot of the breweries were running out of beer. Milwaukee Brewing left before we even got there. Lakefront and Third Space were both running low. Enlightened only had a porter left, which I drank and did not really like. There was another brewery there that I cannot remember. And, I will admit, if I was a good blogger, or even a competent one, I would have written down all the breweries in attendance. But I am not.

Also, important note. We all got very into a game of giant Jenga being played by four strangers. And I don’t mean we just casually checked in on it. We sat in silent rapture while they pulled their blocks and cheered when they were successfully re-seated atop the tower without it tumbling down. And it wasn’t just us. There were probably twenty people watching these strangers with the intense focus of nerds watching Olympic trampolining at a statewide trivia competition. Again, if I was a good blogger, I’d tell you who lost. But I am not.

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In general, though, it was a nice afternoon. There could have been more cheese curds present an available considering that this was called curdfest but I think they will work on that in years going forward. I think there were only two curd vendors and no fried cheese curds in sight. And as previously mentioned, this was the one of the most Wisconsin things I could have done.

#CheersToMKE

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In the infamous words from the band Staind, it’s been awhile. But fear not, for there is some serious content coming your way. So buckle up and listen to me explain to you why living in the Milwaukee area has some perks occasionally. One such perk is the joyful marketing team at MillerCoors, who, to celebrate Miller Brewing’s 160th year in Milwaukee, treated it’s fine citizens to a free surprise concert. It was simple, go to the Girl in the Moon Gift Shop at the brewery or post a picture of yourself enjoying one of the many fine Miller products online with the hashtag #CheersToMKE for a chance to win tickets.

The concert was announced on June 2nd and was to be held at the Riverside Theatre the following Friday, June 9th. Since I am both a good friend and happen to work approximately a mile from the brewery, I volunteered to head over to the gift shop after work in attempt to acquire tickets. As to be expected, tickets were limited. The Riverside seats approximate 2,500 people and since the concert was free, I was fully prepared to try to throw an elbow to get tickets for myself and the crew. Unexpectedly, though, I had no issue acquiring two tickets at the gift shop. The downside, though, was that I needed three tickets and they limited my lone self to two.

The following morning, my mother graciously volunteered to head over the gift shop in attempt to secure those final two tickets for me, but discovered that after less than a day, the gift shop was already completely out of tickets. This left me with the grand task of having to win tickets in order to get both Jake and Ashley into this concert rather than having to stage some sort of Hunger Games fight to the death in a field surrounded by fire and poison berries situation.  Of course, the only requirement for winning is posting a photo of yourself online enjoying an ice cold Miller beer, it was not a hard task to complete. As can be expected, I won a second pair of tickets.

Now, before I go on, you may be wondering why this is worthy of content. First of all, shut up. I hate being questioned. Second, did you miss it? This is a beer themed concert hosted by a leader in the cheap beer your grandpa drinks in the garage industry. Miller Brewing! Plus, it was a fine tribute to this beautiful city! Stop doubting me. Third, I need fucking content okay?

Day of the concert, we arrived around quarter after six although doors weren’t set to open until seven thirty because there were talks that over forty five hundred tickets had been given out, which is approximately two thousand tickets more than there are seats. So we waited in line. And waited. And watched some line drama. We talked to a few kind people ahead of us. We watched the paddle taverns float down the Milwaukee River**. Watched more line drama. Took some selfies. And then we got to go in! Yay!

Us, waiting in line.
Part of the line.

The surprise band playing was Chevy Metal, a heavy metal rock and roll cover band. Was I disappointed? Of course not. I love concerts. Did we drink a ton of beer and dance to every song regardless of how well we knew it or not? Well, I mean, I did. I don’t know about Jake or Ashley. I was in a zone guys. A Summer Shandy and Miller Genuine Draft fueled zone. The women next to me did not appreciate my zone, however, nor did about half the theatre that dutifully sat in their seats and nodded in appreciation at covers of songs such as My Sharona and Ziggy Stardust as if they were at a Jason Isbel concert listening to mournful Americana about teen pregnancy and the decay of the Rust Belt. The woman standing immediately next to me literally covered her ears for half the show. Some people just do not know how to rock.

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Example of people around us not having fun.

Overall, though, it was a great night. We had fun, immense fun. Thanks to Miller Brewing for actually putting the show on. Of course the cynics in the world would love to point out that this is a brilliant marketing stunt to get us to drink more Miller products and how all the beer served in the theatre was only beers brewed or owned by Miller, that doesn’t bother me. Miller-owned beer is always the only thing served at the any of the Pabst theatres because this is Milwaukee. Besides, people do not realize just how many of our favorite beers are brewed by breweries already owned by MillerCoors. It was a fun, cheap night out in the city with good music and good beer and good friends. It was a fabulous kickoff for the Daze of Beer slate of experiences, and I look forward to however the rest of the summer (or our lives) playout surrounded by beer.

Thanks MillerCoors. Thanks Pabst Theatre Group.

**Hey guys, check out the later added BONUS CONTENT about what we talked about in line!

The Explorium Brewpub, Greendale

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So many things in life have become a spiral of disappointment: the current geo-political climate, the economy, the emo revival hitting it’s peak and My Chemical Romance still insisting on sitting this one out. But the one thing I refuse to let become a disappointment is Daze of Beer. While in recent weeks I have discovered my friends that I once assumed to mostly exist in a suspended state until I call upon them to fill my waking hours with amusement and inspiration actually all seem to maintain a social calendar that rivals that of the Duchess of Cambridge, I refuse to let the concept of Daze of Beer become another bullet point on the list of disappointments.

 That is why Ashley and I decided, after failing to round up friends to attend Cuban Fest with us this past Sunday, to try a dry run of Daze of Beer. It was something of a beta-test, I supposed. We opted to visit a new brewpub that opened at Southridge Mall a few months back that is brewing it’s own in house beers. Technically it fits the definition of a brewery, even if it is in a shopping mall that hasn’t been relevant since Mall Rats came out. And while an argument could be made that drinking mall beer is a far cry from the hip and trendy nature of a microbrewery, I can assure you, Daze of Beer was never meant to be hip nor trendy. It is mostly meant to be a way to fill our weekends with more excuses to not go outside.
More than just an excuse to day drink the afternoon away on a Sunday, it was also our choice for lunch. The Explorium Brewpub opened at Southridge in January and since I hate malls, I did not discover it existed until the end of April when Ashley and I decided to hit up the Sephora at JCP location while killing some time during the NFL draft. This past Sunday, a chilly, rainy day at peak lunchtime when Ashely decided to finally visit, it was dead. More than dead. It was depressing.
There was one large family drinking beer and being jovial, but other than that, there wasn’t many signs of a life. During our meal, another couple came in, insisted on a booth, then both sipped waters and had two cups of soup, before leaving. But it was pretty bleak. The interior was clearly intended to appeal to a generation of Pinterest-ers who are into shabby chic designs and rustic barn weddings. Barrels were used as decorations and the walls had fake distressed wood. In general, it played into my well-worn rant about the desire to have “authentic experiences” and how people are trying too hard to manufacture and recreate experiences which results in them “lacking heart.” I understand how this sounds. I also refuse to budge from this opinion. Anyways, The Explorium felt inauthentic.
The beer didn’t help the situation much. Ashley, my girl, my main, my friend bubble bitch, was such a trooper and when I was like “let’s get two flights and sample all eight beers on this menu” she was like “OF COURSE” and so comes the actual beer part of Daze of Beer. Now, let me start off with the same disclaimer I have in the “about” page. We are not beer experts. We actually know remarkably little about beer. Our opinions and reviews usually range from “wow, this is good” to “eck, get that away from me.” I could not tell you if something tastes oaky or if they used two different kinds of hops (which allegedly Explorium does with their IPA). All I know is that I either like it or I don’t, same goes for Ashley.

So, the beer. As you can see in the picture above, you can read the descriptions of each beer (we drank all of them), the type of beer they are, and the alcohol by volume. I’m honestly not sure if ABV actually matters in a beer outside of just wanting to drink whatever will get you drunk the fastest. I won’t bore you with the details and impressions of all eight beers. My overview is that the porter and stout tasted remarkably similar, which is to be expected as I don’t like dark beers and anything I can’t see through usually just tastes bitter to me. But even the little bits of flavors I did pick out, they both seemed to have coffee flavors and the stout was a little more earthy. I believe I preferred the porter though, whereas Ashley preferred the stout.
Ashley and I both really liked the barleywine, though. It was the kind of beer that would be easy to accidentally ruin your night on. It goes down easily and it has a wicked ABV for a beer that tastes so good. My favorite beer, though, was the Doc Rae Scotch Ale, whereas Ashley did not like it at all. I believe her favorite was the Patagonian Hitchhiker Lager. But both of those were to be expected based on our existing tastes. Overall, the beers felt very generic and undefined. But this was a good starting point for Daze of Beer, though. I think we know how this is going to go in the future. There is going to be a lot of beer and a lot of beer jokes.
Jake thinks that we should record our conversations and launch a podcast as this adventure continues, and while I don’t think that’s the easiest idea, it could be fun. It’d be more conversational than the blogging. But to be completely honest, who has that kind of time? Anyways, the beta test went well. I look forward to all future Daze of Beer endeavors.

A Introduction.

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I know two things for certain:

  1. The only people who may even briefly peruse this blog are going to be my friends at my Barney Stinson like urging. These same people will also already know and be partially, or wholly, involved in Daze of Beer hands on, making this entire blog fairly redundant.
  2. Daze of Beer will be my legacy because I do not have anything else going for me in this life, or even the next.

But, I still feel the need to take the advice so many boomers like to push on unsuspecting millennials like myself about how to advance in life. “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” And while I’m not going to be wearing my pajamas and oversized tattered hoodies to work every day while aspiring to be a professional napper with a part-time job in Netflix viewing, I have decided to blog for the audience I want, not the audience I have. So my current audience is, maybe my friends but probably nobody, but I want my audience to be like, my cousin Patrick who possesses some of the most advanced and encyclopedic knowledge of most Midwest based beers and breweries and maybe like six people who laugh at how stupid this endeavor is. I also would not be opposed to my friends actually reading this but beggars cannot be choosers, as those boomers also are inclined to say.

So, let me begin with a proper, longer introduction than what you may find in the “about” page. Daze of Beer started as me sitting at my desk at work, bored, and thinking about how we live in Milwaukee, and what do we know about it? There’s a lake under the Northwest Mutual building and Pabst “came home” last year, although they aren’t actually brewing PBR in the city. But the city is famous for it’s brewing history and I have not, at all, done anything to appreciate that fact. I have never done a Miller Brewing tour nor could I tell you definitively what local brews to get when you’re at some dive. I don’t know anything. I know what I like, New Glarius Spotted Cow and Moon Man, Third Space Happy Place, Leinenkuegel’s Cranberry Ginger in the winters and Summer Shandy in the summers, and Landshark (not even a Wisconsin beer).

Anyways, the idea came to me in a floating, dreamy haze. What if we (my friends, you guys) tried to visit and sample every local brewery. And then this dream came crashing down when, upon closer inspection, I discovered 20 different breweries in Milwaukee, another 10+ in the immediate suburbs, and then the miscellaneous ones spread across the state. So our plan for “Day of Beer” became “Two Days of Beer” to “Four Days of Beer” to the broader term “Days of Beers” to give us more freedom. Then, finally, Daze of Beer, as coined by Ashley when we were discussing the logistics of the project. And she’s right, there is a very real possibility that this will just become a daze of pilsners and stouts and porters and IPAs. This project could crash and fail. We could find out that beer isn’t even something someone should care about. We could discover that maybe alcohol itself truly is the devil and the legislators of the fine state of Utah are maybe correct in their incredibly restrictive liquor sales and consumption laws. But until we try, we’ll never know.

I’d like to finish this first entry with a welcome. Welcome to the blog. Welcome to the lifestyle. Hopefully you’ll stick with this, and hopefully we’ll stick with this. Maybe, someday, this project will have proven to be worth the investment. But until that day, I guess we’ll just have to keep drinking until we find the answer to all the problems.