I apologize for how lacking in inspiration my last post was, but I promise Baltimore isn’t all dull and hazy beers overshadowed by a slightly buzzed girl craving a cheeseburger and nothing else. Of course, sometimes Baltimore isn’t enough to satisfying the curious case of beer daze. Sometimes you’ve got to veer from your own sub-format to another sub-sub-format because rules don’t apply here, beyotches! On the third episode of Good Morning Beertimore! Nicole and I leave Baltimore to visit Flying Dog Brewery in Fredrick, Baltimore.

Flying Dog is a brewery that I had read a lot about online. Every list that I perused trying to decide which of Baltimore’s many breweries always said that this was the best one to check out, although they are actually an hour northwest of Baltimore. I tried hard to stick to the true theme of Beertimore, but how do you pass up the brewery that all the other online beer blogs and commentators are constantly raving about? I’m already shitty enough at blogging, I couldn’t also bypass the opportunity of a lifetime*! So Nicole and I drove up after brunch Sunday morning/noon/afternoon.

Let me start by saying that this was by far the wisest choice we made all weekend beer-wise. Upon first driving up to the place, I was nervous because it was in the middle of an industrial park which is always a little off putting, but within that industrial park we found a fun taproom with thee most personable brewery employees we encountered the whole weekend. For example, the women ID-ing us (note: I think this is the only time I got carded the whole weekend because recently I have started to look old as dirt thanks to poor skincare and sunscreen habits my whole life) asked why I was visiting from Wisconsin I said “to see Nicole!” to which the woman looked at Nicole’s ID and was like, “But you’re from Texas?” And her confusion was enough to satisfy my needs right there, and this was even before we had beer in hand.

So we moseyed over for some beer, which is where I done eff’d up and just ordered, you know, a beer. Well, not just any beer from their limited edition Peach Cobbler Ale, which, guys, move in close, I have words to whisper to you. This beer was so good. Like, appallingly, against the laws of nature good. Although I know I should have gotten a flight like a Good Blogger™ would do, I chose so correctly in just blindly ordering a whole pint. It’s a tap room exclusive, I believe, so in order to see if I am being hyperbolic or not, you’ll have to check out Flying Dog yourself.

Nicole, who is a lowkey Good Blogger™, actually ordered a flight. Honestly, Nicole needs to come around more often because she is a legitimately smart and well put together Good Blogger™ and I am just a mess of a human who drinks beer and then has nothing insightful to say about it other than that it may or may not have been good, and some times I don’t even have that much to say. Nicole thinks in terms of what would be good content, what would be the smartest blogging choice, what kind of content do the people want to read! And since I am actually the one blogging and not her, that is why this blog still sucks and no one reads it. Not even my “friends.”

But anyways, her flight included the Dead Rise Old Bay Summer Ale, The Fear IPA Nitro,Raging St. Eadman Abbey IPA, and the Belgium Red. The Dead Rise Old Bay Summer Ale was alarming. I understand that Old Bay in an institution in Maryland, they use it in everything, and it’s their go to seasoning. But this beer legitimately had Old Bay and it smelled like Old Bay and it upset me. It felt dirty, and wrong, and uncomfortable. That might be the outsider in me who does not have Old Bay running through her veins, but I could not handle it. It wasn’t like it was impossible to drink, but it was a lot to smell for sure. The nitro was good, I think? If I recall correctly, I enjoyed it and Nicole did not but she did actually kind of enjoy the St. Eadman Abbey IPA, which is a big deal because she does not like IPAs as previously stated. And I think we were pretty equally good on the Belgium Red.

But overall, the place was nice. The taproom was cool and the guys working it were pretty cool. The patio was gorgeous and we got to half-watch a game of bags were the boards were not at a regulation distance and it distressed Nicole just how far apart they were. It really was worth the drive up to Fredrick and the other blogs run by Good Bloggers™ were not wrong in insisting that everyone check it out. Really, truly, guys. Flying Dog was a great place with great beer.

On the final installment of Good Morning Beertimore!, I make Nicole’s dreams come true and there is rattlesnake. 

*citation needed

Guys! You came back! I’m so glad you could be here to share in round two of Good Morning Beertimore! wherein Nicole and I grab dinner at a brewpub that was a little too fancy and had a couple beers that I made no notes about! So welcome to the post on The Brewer’s Art located in the Mount Vernon neighborhood in Baltimore!

Okay, guys, I will warn you. This entire post might feel half assed, but it’s not because I’m half-assing the writing, it’s because I half-assed the drinking. I know what you’re thinking. Natalie, how could you possibly half-ass drinking? You come from a long line of definitional alcoholics and proud Wisconsinites. How could you disgrace your people? And let me tell you how… I was hungry and sort of just didn’t care anymore. Not about like, beer and Daze of Beer and the entire experience as a whole. I just mean, I was less focused on drinking and more focused on eating, which, if we’re being completely honest, is how I live most of my life. I’d rather die of heart failure due to a lifelong love affair with unhealthy but delicious foods than of liver failure caused by a lifelong desire to drink away my demons. Unfortunately, though, at the rate I’m going, these two things might just catch up with me at once. Pour one out for me, everybody.

Anyways, let’s focus in. Nicole and I headed over to Brewer’s Art after we got kicked out of Union. Upon arrival, it took us a minute to find because either I’m blind or there is no sign. It was another game of the GPS announcing that We are here! while we were most decidedly not “here.” But we figured it out. The neighborhood is beautiful and so was the building Brewer’s Art is in. I will say, as much as I shit on Baltimore (with no intention of stopping), it is a beautifully historic city, as you tend to find in older parts of the country. Wisconsin has it’s fair share of “old things” but our old things are still centuries younger than Baltimore’s old things. What we consider ancient here in the Milwaukee metro is just like, moderately old in Baltimore terms. That’s because white people had killed off most First Nations people centuries before anyone even discovered that there was land west of the Appalachians. So while Milwaukee’s oldest building was built sometime in the 1870’s (I googled it and no one has hard dates), the oldest building in Baltimore was built in the mid-1700s and the state itself has buildings older than that. But I digress.

Nicole and I wandered in and the place just seemed nice and adult. Everyone was dressed smart-casual and eating very fancy looking food. For a minute I wondered if this was the place I had read about online because why would I ever let two of us wander in so delightfully under dressed. But we proceeded to find the hostess who informed us they take reservations and that they were totally booked for the night. Excuse me?  I thought this was a casual brewpub and you take reservations? I never go anywhere that takes reservations, let alone places that get booked up for entire nights. But she did tell us we could sit in the bar on the lower level and they have a full menu down there.

And that is what we did. The lower level bar was incredibly dark, and when we first sat down, it was completely empty save for one table with an older couple at it. I assumed it was because it was getting passed dinner time a tad. I believe it was already onto just past 7 by the time we got down to the bar, but before long the entire place filled up with a good mix of smart-casual older adults who were turned away from the main dining room and smart-casual young professionals who seemed to be aware that this lower bar existed.

In terms of beer, Nicole had the Beazly which is their Belgium style beer and I had the Birdhouse which was a nice, summery pale ale. That’s the extent of my notes. I swear to God, guys, I owe you one. Nicole and I each only had one beer and I didn’t take any other notes on it.

Only known notes.

I did have a cheeseburger, though, that I devoured. I had drinking munchies so bad that day, in a way I never get, and at the point where I was three and then some beers deep, I was starving. My cheeseburger was unremarkable. Not bad, just not noteworthy. It satisfied the craving I had in that moment and nothing more.

Final thoughts? Just because they make their own beer doesn’t mean I will fit in there. I mean, I did not stand out by any means, but there food was so fancy and I am a poor person. I mean, overall I literally just wanted a cheeseburger going into the experience and got exactly what I wanted. I wish I could tell you more about the beer but I am such a bad blogger. Deepest apologies.

On the next Good Morning Beertimore! post, I step it up a little bit and Nicole and I roadtrip to Flying Dog Brewery in Fredrick, Maryland! 

*For some idiotic reason, I took all my pictures in portrait instead of landscape at this place so excuse how terrible they all format. Clearly I was drunk.**

**Was not actually drunk 

Not every visit to a brewery is in search of the next great beer. Sometimes you have to see where beer started. You have to understand the history. You have to hold tight to the beer of our forefathers, the beer that stocked your grandpa’s garage fridge, that Don Draper sipped at backyard barbecues, that you first stole a sip of at eight when no one was looking. You have to get to the core, the essence. You have to appreciate the past to understand the present. That is why I paid a fine visit to Miller Brewing.

For this visit, instead of the usual crew getting together to pretend that we are the foremost leaders in the beer blog and snobbery industry, I went with my parents and my sister. It was something to do and it was free. Yes, guys, you heard me, the MillerCoors tour is free. So we ventured down to the Miller Valley, which, as you would guess, is a numerous city blocks occupied by Miller. It was also fun to venture outside of Walker’s Point again. The Miller Valley has this beautifully eerie feeling of lost time. It’s quite literally a valley, blocks of the city that the freeway goes over, not through, not around, over. Everything feels suspended in time in the Valley. The first time I ever went to the Miller Valley, I was probably about ten or eleven and my parents were taking us for a nice dinner and my father called it the land that time forgot, and he is very right. It maintains the charm and grit of turn-of-the-century Milwaukee.

So, the tour kicks off in the Visitor Center where there is a gift shop as well as some taps that go unused. I’m sure they host events here, but I’m a bad blogger and legitimately do not know. As I mentioned, tours are free and you can just walk in and ask to get in on the next tour, which run every half hour. Unlike the micros and crafts in the area, as a huge brewery, tours can have a lot of people. I’d say there were at least thirty people on our tour from all over the country. I know this because we had to do that dumb thing where the tour guides were like “RAISE IS YOUR HAND IF YOU’RE NOT FROM MILWAUKEE! OKAY NOW KEEP YOU’RE HAND RAISED IF YOU’RE NOT FROM SOUTHEASTERN WISCONSIN! ALRIGHT, KEEP THAT HAND UP THERE IF YOU’RE NOT FROM WISCONSIN!” And so on. It was painful. We all know that I hate icebreakers and pretending to form attachments with strangers for forty five minutes just to never see them again.

Then we all walked into this little theatre that showed us a 12 minute video about the history of Miller Brewing starting at the beginning and ending sometime around 2012, mentioning the Miller/Coors merger and how great they are to the environment. It starts out benign enough but once you start telling me about your “corporate responsibility,” I start rolling my eyes. Don’t sell me on your company about how well you pay your staff and how you recycle, impress me through your beer but then just don’t be assholes to your employees and the Earth. You shouldn’t have to brag about how you’re good people, you should just be good people, yah dig? I will say, though, the second half of the video had a very Living with the Land feel with the dated footage and the tone and cadence of the narrator, and we all know that I have a soft spot for Living with the Land. It speaks to my soul.

After the video, the kind tour guides ventured out with us. Honestly, there was not so much about specifically how beer is made like you get on tours are the micros. I guess no one cares when you’re producing beer at that scale. What really is talked about a ton is production and distribution. The tour does make the bold claim that Miller was using assembly lines long before Henry Ford and his automobile factories, which I would like to see hard data on. I feel like having grown up in a Milwaukee suburb my whole life, someone would have said that to me. Instead I have been inundate with the whole “Henry Ford didn’t invent the car, but he did invent something much more important. Efficiency!” 

I just feel like at some point some teacher would have maybe said that there may have been another man who used the concept of an assembly line to make beer. In fact, I know that my junior year AP US History teacher would have almost 100% told us this if there was even a remote possibility of this being an important fact because this man (shout of to Doc Sobot) is the same teacher who told us that when he was a young student at Marquette University back in the 70s when the drinking age in Wisconsin was 18, him and his friends would go and do Miller tours over and over again all day because you get free beer at the end of the tour. And they would just do like 10 tours in a day. So, if this man who had done the same tour so many times in his life and then grew up to have a PhD in American History and taught us so much stupid stuff about America (see the 5 days we spent watching a re-enactment of an unabridged Lincoln/Douglass debate or the two days we spent discussing an article called “From the Front Porch to the Back Seat: A Brief History of Dating in America) he would have also told us when we got to the stuff about industry, that maybe a German immigrant who settled in Milwaukee, WI invented the assembly line. Maybe not. Maybe I’m too cynical and bitter.

Anyways, that tangent was uncalled for. Why should I doubt them? They seem like nice enough people over at MillerCoors. I guess the one thing that is most important to note is that they mentioned that the number one beer brewed, packaged, and shipped out of the Milwaukee facility is not actually Miller Lite or High Life or MGD or anything like that. It’s Coors Light. That’s right, Coors Light. Like, excuse me but go back to Golden, you impasta. I’m kidding. It’s fine. I understand that MillerCoors are one now, just like Voltron. And I mean that more seriously than you think. Under the MillerCoors banner, there are so many more beers that they now own that have all come together to make a major beer fighting robot. For example, Blue Moon? MillerCoors. Leinenkeugel’s? MillerCoors. Milwaukee’s Best? MillerCoors! Fosters? DAMN RIGHT, THAT TOO. So much beer guys.

After getting a peek at packaging and distribution, we got to go into A CAVE! Not a real cave, but the beer storage caves they used to use before refrigeration. It was dark and beautiful and then there was a hologram of Fredrick Miller (or an actor pretending to be Fredrick Miller). It was almost like the time Tupac’s hologram showed up at Coachella. People were losing their goddamn minds*!

The cave was actually pretty cool, though, and it can be rented out for corporate events and weddings (sometimes) and honestly, I cannot picture anything that says “true love” more than saying your vows under the watchful eye of the Girl in the Moon.

Leaving the cave, we got to head over to the outdoor beer garden for our free beer samples and free pretzels. So, for those of you keeping track at home, the tour costs $0 and you get three free 4 ounce pours for $0 and little snack backs of pretzels for $0 which made this entire outing free! 

So, it’s time for the beer roundup as to what everyone had to drink. They make everyone use one of their free beers on a Miller Lite, so we all had that. Then my dad got the Leinie’s anniversary lager, my mom got a Blue Moon, I got the Leinie’s Grapefruit Shandy, and Emily also got a Blue Moon. This is where I must tell you, none of us had our third beers. Why? Because ONE OF THE BEERS GAVE ME HIVES. Like, splotchy, itchy, hot, uncomfortable hives all over my face and neck. Seriously. I tried all the beers my family got, but all of them are beers I’ve had before without incident, but this time one of them betrayed me. So we took off.

Final opinion on the Miller tour? It’s free and it’s fine. Almost everything is pre-recorded but it helps to understand how the beer industry shaped Milwaukee and Milwaukee shaped the beer industry. But, like I said, something there betrayed me and I am really good at holding grudges.

Coming soon to a overblown beer blog near you: A multi-part series on the Baltimore beer scene ft. Nicole and a sausage made of rattlesnake. 

*open for interpretation

Do you hear that? Lowly, in the distance, that sound? What is that? The rumbling from some far off land. It’s getting louder. The ground is shaking. What could it possibly be? Is it… is it… choo choo! It is! It’s the Daze of Beer train getting back on track! #hollah

Well, here we are again friends. Another trip to another Milwaukee brewery. This time we visited one of the better known breweries in not just Milwaukee, but also the entire Midwest (maybe country?). We went to Lakefront Brewery. Now, you might be wondering, “Hey, Natalie, how do you qualify that Lakefront is one of the better known breweries?” And let me tell you, my sweet friend. I have determined this by the fact that according to Jake, somewhere on their website they brag about being the fourth best brewery tour in the country (New Belgium made the claim they were number one on that list so maybe this is a real thing) and also, when I was in Utah, one of my friendly bartenders who kept me more than a little hydrated throughout the weekend told me he once visited Milwaukee and did “that one brewery tour there.” And when I said, “Oh, the Miller tour?” He looked at me with big shocked eyes and said, “They brew Miller in Milwaukee? Wow, I didn’t know that! No, I did the other one! The other big one.” And I shrugged and guessed, “Uh, Lakefront?” And he nearly jumped over the bar and said, “YES! THAT ONE.” So, I think it’s safe to say someone, somewhere knows about Lakefront Brewery.

We visited the fine brewery on Saturday, August 19th and did the 6:30 tour. We had booked our tour only a few hours in advance, but it’s still important to plan as far ahead as possible because their tours routinely sell out. There are several things I hated about this situation before it started. One, there were people everywhere just existing. We all know how I feel about people who insist on existing. Drives me mad. Second, the entire pastiche is that everyone is SUPER excited to be WORKING there!!11!!!!!! I hate enthusiasm, and I especially hate over-hyped false enthusiasm. But it was fine.

With each tour you get four drink tokens so before our tour began we started with a round. My first beer was the hull melon. Jake’s first beer was the El Wisco, which I have at length discussed on the CurdFest post. Tim had the Amplified Ale, which is sponsored by 88.9, I believe? Ashley also got a hull melon to start. And Monica got a Fixed Gear. I wish I had something insightful to say about these beers, but guys, I have to be honest. We consumed more beer on this tour than any Daze of Beer event to date. Like, five a piece. Remember when I said we each got four drink tokens? Well, Monica and Ashley had an additional three tokens from a previous tour so we were really swimming in the beer. And it would be disingenuous to pretend I remember anything about anything regarding the tastes of the beer.

But what I do remember, because it mattered to me profoundly, was another one of Jake’s great useless stories about Milwaukee history that he imparted on us while waiting for the tour to begin. While sitting, enjoying our first beers, he told us about the lights that are hanging in the beer hall/tap room. Apparently, the lights are from an old hotel in Milwaukee that was never finished due to funding issues stemming from the Great War, now known as World War I (see Wonder Woman). No one took interest in finishing this hotel at any point, apparently, and the city finally hit a point where they were like “eff this, let’s just tear it down.” But they went through and pieced out items that were already in the building for auction and put these beautiful lights up for auction with the minimum bid of $1000. Lakefront, apparently, put up some silly bid like $1031 (that figure came from Jake, citation desperately needed) and were immediately outbid by some big shot Chicago company that was like “FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS PLEASE.” But in one of the city of Milwaukee’s finest moments in preservation, they thought it best to keep history here in Milwaukee and they were like “Nah, bruh, I think Lakefront should have these.” And now you can see the beautiful lights that Lakefront got a screamin’ deal on hanging up there, illuminating the world and the beer.

After Jake gathered us for this story, our tour began. We all filled up before we ventured off and with the second round, I had the IPA called IPA, Jake had the Organica, Tim tried the New Grist which is gluten free, Ashley also went with the Organica, and Monica tried the Pumpkin Ale.

Let me tell you a bit about our tour guide. He was nice enough and did grow on me. But let me tell you the two notes I took on him.

1. Underemployed theatre major.
2. Cuddle puddle.

Those were the two notes. I’m not 100% sure what I meant by cuddle puddle, but I’m confident it’s some gross thing he said to describe something about the beer making process. The underemployed theatre major thing speaks for itself. He had an enthusiasm and showmanship that can only be found at Disney World and breweries, the two places you’re most likely to find theatre majors trying to convince you they made the correct choice in majors while secretly crying themselves to sleep at night about how they should have went into accounting just like their wise cousin who sells cigarettes at the local gas station and vapes inside when their manager isn’t looking said.

Overall, the tour was entertaining. At first I had an attitude problem about the over-the-top underemployed theatre major tour guide, but in the end he made some decent jokes and we were able to riff on them a little bit in our side huddle, because we can never risk being in the presence of someone funnier than us. God forbid.

At midpoint in the tour came a refill station which housed four options for beer. Ashley, Monica, and I had a Clutch Cargo. Jake when with the White. Tim had the Pumpkin Lager, not to be confused with the Pumpkin Ale that Monica had earlier (can you tell it’s almost fall?). Again, if I was a good blogger I could have told you which beer option there was that I did not have, but as has been long established with this blog, I am not a good blogger. And also, for some reason (probably related to the lack of food), I was feeling these beers pretty decently at his point.

More touring happens, and at the end we all get to sing a song together. I won’t spoil which song for you, but I will tell you it’s a television theme song and I already knew all the words.

The tour dumps out on this beautiful patio right on the river. Saturday was a beautiful night and there was a beer man there ready to take our last tokens (which in practice were not Monica and Ashley’s last tokens) and fill your beer for the final time (which again, was not actually our final time). Last beer roundup is as follows:

• Me, Snake Chaser
• Jake, Smash Ale
• Tim, Riverwest Stein
• Monica, Riverwest Stein
• Ashley, Riverwest Stein
  

  

  

  

Before we departed the brewery, though, we ended back in the taproom to finish off the tokens. Monica’s last beer was an El Wisco, mine was a Fixed Gear, and Jake’s was a Pumpkin Lager. Included in the tour, also, is a free pint glass if you turn in your plastic cup you’d been sipping from all night and within that free pint glass is a coupon for a free Lakefront beer at Stubby’s, the neighboring restaurant. Obviously we were all starved, and we also have been sitting on a Stubby’s gift card for well over a year, so we went to cash in on our last free beer, which as a shitty blog would do, I did not write down what any of us got. But Stubby’s has great cheese curds and I’d definitely recommend them to anybody.

Overall, great trip to Lakefront. Lessons were learned (five beers is TOO MANY when blogging). Friendships were formed (I watched two people beat a keg together and become illegally wed). And mistakes were made (Jake knows what mistake he made). I’d recommend it, for sure. Definitely a great stopover for people visiting Milwaukee, like your one friend from college that lives in the Northwoods who thinks you lead a really exciting life in the “big city” of Milwaukee but really you just go to Target and watch Netflix but you’ve gotta show her a good time so, take her here.

Our next post is going to be on big name giant industry leader MillerCoors. Sneak peek from the next post: A beer gave me hives! 

Trust me, I’m as disappointed as you are. How could we possibly just get started on this Daze of Beer train to just derail it with a Throwback Thursday post about a trip I made to a brewery nearly two years ago? I am sorry, my dear reader, for letting this happen but sometimes content doesn’t flow smoothly as Miller Lite from a vortex bottle. Sometimes you have to dig for the content. You have to work for the content. You have to reach for it.

So here we are today, on this fine Thursday, reminiscing about visiting the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins. As stated, this tour took place in the heady days of 2015. It was a simpler time. Obama was president. Adele had just released her smash single Hello. I was unemployed and had not yet learned the true drudgery that is adulthood. It was a sunny, warm November day in the mountains high above the sea. While most people visit Colorado for the scenic hikes, death defying rock climbs, and legal marijuana, I am neither a hiker nor a rock climber, though I am sure that others in attendance on this journey would have loved a beautiful stroll or vertical crawl through the mountains, and after a showing display of me being so aggressively not a hiker the previous day at the Grand Canyon, beer seemed like a safe bet for my kind of person. But more than a safe bet for me, it was a sure bet for David, who loves beer.

We did not plan ahead for this tour and when we walked into the tap room and gift shop, a kind man sitting at a table asked us if we had reservations. Spoiler alert: We did not. He then informed us that the tours typically fill up months in advance but it was our lucky day and they had space available on their next tour that was to start in approximately ten minutes. I am not sure if he was bullshitting us on the “months in advance” joke, but it honestly would not surprise me. The tours are free, first of all, which right there makes it worth the trip. But secondly, I think throughout the course of the nearly hour long tour we got five samples a piece. And I’m not talking little sips. We were getting four ounce pours.

My memory of my trip to New Belgium Brewery is a bit hazy, to be completely honest, but I do remember our tour guide was genuinely passionate about being an employee of the brewery. He believed in the brand and the product and was proud to be apart of the organization. He spoke quick and excitedly about the history of the brewery and all the things that set them apart from other craft beers. It was an inspirational story of a man, who maybe is named Jeff?, and how he went on an “Eat, Pray, Love” journey to Belgium to study the art of brewing and he came back and started a microbrewery that in only a few short years exploded into a mega-popular no-longer-micro craft beer producer. There’s just something about people achieving their dreams of becoming master brewers that really warms my heart, if we’re being honest.

Since it was November, I remember us trying their pumpkin lager that I believe Nicole did not like, I was okay with, and David appreciated. I don’t think there was a single beer that David outright did not enjoy, but I think it’s because he was a mature man with a mature beer-loving palate that can discern all the subtle hints of whatever the tour guide says. I also distinctly remember us trying a porter that was made in partnership with Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream that was a brownie flavored porter? I also remember not liking it. David did though, because again, he has a mature taste for beer and at the time I was just coming off that mean Landshark phase that had sprung up in Florida.

Photo credit: Nicole Sagullo

Photo credit: Nicole Sagullo

Photo credit: Nicole Sagullo

But this was also the place I first discovered one of my all-time favorite beers and the first IPA I was ever able to tolerate. New Belgium’s Citradelic Tangerine IPA. Boy, do I love this beer and this beer and I have stories together now. All because of this brewery tour. It introduced me to Citradelic Tangerine and now we have shared a string of life and times together that are unrivaled by almost any other beer. (Except for Landshark. Landshark and I also have stories together.)

At the end of the tour there was a fun little slide you could go down, which David and I politely declined to do. I vaguely remember Nicole deciding to go down the slide, but that might be a false memory because by the end of the tour we were all feeling the effects of drinking alcohol at 5,000 feet above sea level.

Then, after the tour, we went to Culver’s which was David’s first time there and he ate the entire order of cheese curds I believe we intended to share among the three of us. That’s okay though because there aren’t many vegetarian friendly options at Culver’s, but also, how could you possibly be mad at someone who becomes immediately enamored with the fried glory of breaded Wisconsin cheese? But I digress.

In summation, I apologize that this was a throwback post, and a fuzzy one at that. My life has changed so much since this day in Colorado. My brain is slowly melting and remembering fine details of a day so aged in memory is difficult, but guys. It was great, okay? Remember that next time you journey to Colorado and find yourself dissuaded from hiking and partaking in the devil’s lettuce. And as previously stated, there is so many other breweries to check out here too because every city has a budding “craft beer industry.”

I’ll catch y’all on the flip side when hopefully I will had gone to another brewery and continue this arduous journey that is Daze of Beer.

Let’s begin with an exercise. Close your eyes (metaphorically, if you literally close your eyes you will not be able to continue reading this paragraph which is imperative to this exercise). Clear your mind. Take a deep breath. Now, think. What is the most Wisconsin scene you can conjure to your mind? Does it involve a foot of snow being whipped around by bitter winter winds? Or a mob full of angry, overweight men wearing wedges of foam cheese on their heads shouting misogynistic vitriol about a quarterback’s love interest? People gathered around drinking beer and eating cheese curds while listening to a live polka band and playing a game of bags? Maybe just a field full of cows and cranberries as far as the eye can see?  Alright, these are all fair scenes. And they all exist. But, what about this image. A warm, Saturday afternoon in the middle of June blocks from the shores of Lake Michigan, young, well dressed white people enjoying the weather and a sense of security afforded to them thanks to gentrification and “urban renewal.” Not exactly a typical image of Wisconsin. But honestly, this scene existed just alongside another one I laid out for you. And no, this wasn’t a party in the middle of a cranberry bog.

On this edition of Daze-of-Beer-Not-Going-As-Planned, we hit up the inaugural Curd Fest in Walker’s Point.

Upon entering the closed block that was reserved for the joys of Curd Fest, I was immediately overwhelmed with the sense of belonging. For the obvious reasons of course, I too am a white millennial also taking advantage of the gentrification and “cleanup” efforts put into Walker’s Point, a once grimy, industrial neighborhood south of downtown that is now enjoying a renewed interest in converting those old factories into breweries and urban lofts. Of course, during the walk to Curd Fest, I went on a rant about how Milwaukee’s “urban renewal” efforts are pricing out lower income families that have lived in those neighborhoods for decades and further showing the true nature of the people of Milwaukee. They are so dedicated to making themselves look good (which isn’t easy with Sheriff David Clarke and Governor Scott Walker kicking around) that they are furthering the city’s tradition of segregation. But, I digress.

The true sense of belonging, though, came from the feeling that while I have my issues with Wisconsin, with living here, this is aplace that truly shaped me. Curd Fest was one of the most Wisconsin things I could think of doing with my Saturday, and the thought of living somewhere else that does not place such a strong emphasis on drinking beer and eating cheese with reckless abandon on the first nice weekend of the summer broke my heart a little. Curd Fest was the embodiment of my essence. Milwaukee and I are one. We understand each other. We are both filled with beer and cheese and resentment and undeserved pride. Curd Fest was a prime example of that.

Instead of venturing out of my beer comfort zone, I started with my favorite beer at the moment, a Third Space Happy Place IPA. I wish I could tell you what this beer tastes like, but I can’t. Honestly, I think I am going to start referring to is as the beer of 2017. If I’m anywhere with Happy Place on tap, you know that’s what I’m going to order. Blessedly, I’m seeing it more and more places. Ashley also got a Happy Place at first, and Tim, I believe, got Lakefront’s El Wisco, which is their new Mexican-style beer. While I have not myself ever ordered the El Wisco, Ashley ordered it at Leff’s before a Brewer game and let me try it. My expert opinion? I’d rather have a Landshark. Also, there is something terrible inauthentic about thirtysomething year old hipster brewmasters in Milwaukee deciding that they want to brew a Mexican inspired beer. It would not kill you to just drink a Corona or Tecate, and while the El Wisco is a little more flavorful than those beers, I also think half the experience of drinking a light Mexican beer is just the absurdity of it. Which is why I love Landshark. (And yes, I know that Landshark is also an American beer masquerading as a Mexican lager but you know what? It’s funny. I drink it ironically. You shut up.)

While enjoying our drinks, we sat on the curb just watching people wander around. As I said, it was a beautiful day. Our second round was me drinking another Happy Place, Tim got some specialty drink or something?, and Ashley got an Old Fashioned. Like I said, Wisconsin. Aggressively Wisconsin. We bought some cheese curds and snacked on them on the curb. Around this time, we noticed that a lot of the breweries were running out of beer. Milwaukee Brewing left before we even got there. Lakefront and Third Space were both running low. Enlightened only had a porter left, which I drank and did not really like. There was another brewery there that I cannot remember. And, I will admit, if I was a good blogger, or even a competent one, I would have written down all the breweries in attendance. But I am not.

Also, important note. We all got very into a game of giant Jenga being played by four strangers. And I don’t mean we just casually checked in on it. We sat in silent rapture while they pulled their blocks and cheered when they were successfully re-seated atop the tower without it tumbling down. And it wasn’t just us. There were probably twenty people watching these strangers with the intense focus of nerds watching Olympic trampolining at a statewide trivia competition. Again, if I was a good blogger, I’d tell you who lost. But I am not.

In general, though, it was a nice afternoon. There could have been more cheese curds present an available considering that this was called curdfest but I think they will work on that in years going forward. I think there were only two curd vendors and no fried cheese curds in sight. And as previously mentioned, this was the one of the most Wisconsin things I could have done.

So many things in life have become a spiral of disappointment: the current geo-political climate, the economy, the emo revival hitting it’s peak and My Chemical Romance still insisting on sitting this one out. But the one thing I refuse to let become a disappointment is Daze of Beer. While in recent weeks I have discovered my friends that I once assumed to mostly exist in a suspended state until I call upon them to fill my waking hours with amusement and inspiration actually all seem to maintain a social calendar that rivals that of the Duchess of Cambridge, I refuse to let the concept of Daze of Beer become another bullet point on the list of disappointments.

The beer didn’t help the situation much. Ashley, my girl, my main, my friend bubble bitch, was such a trooper and when I was like “let’s get two flights and sample all eight beers on this menu” she was like “OF COURSE” and so comes the actual beer part of Daze of Beer. Now, let me start off with the same disclaimer I have in the “about” page. We are not beer experts. We actually know remarkably little about beer. Our opinions and reviews usually range from “wow, this is good” to “eck, get that away from me.” I could not tell you if something tastes oaky or if they used two different kinds of hops (which allegedly Explorium does with their IPA). All I know is that I either like it or I don’t, same goes for Ashley.